L-R: Beverley Barefoot, Eleanor Lewalten, Kristin Otwell

Beverley (diagnosed with leukemia in January l997, who underwent a bone marrow transplant and spent six weeks in total isolation in the hospital):

"I had a packet of goodies ready to make collages while I was in the hospital. I had prepared my mind for isolation and this procedure as though I would be on a retreat. I'd turn on music, make the setting as humane as possible, and either write or go through images in my collection. I wrote a lot of poetry and decorated envelopes that I'd send to the outside world. I was connecting and sharing my artistic spirit with family and friends this way. My art was a bridge between my inner realm and the outer world. The hospital art played a major role in keeping my spirit intact, alive and hopeful and connected me to the staff, making me more than a patient in a bed.

By the time I finally returned home, after six weeks of isolation, ninety days of outpatient treatments, and an immune system that was barely functioning, I felt like my creative spark had been dampered---I couldn't go to that place inside myself. I also was hesitant to return to the life I'd led in which I'd made art every day---I'd been ripped out of that life so abruptly with my illness. I was also afraid of the toxicity of the paints, because my immune system was so fragile. But even when I wasn't able to do art, I felt that something was composting. I knew the whole experience would definitely influence my artwork when my energy and inspiration returned. Becoming part of this group has allowed me to slowly walk back into art. I look at my art now as a way to continue to heal and ground back into life, rather than as an occupational thing, so there's no stress around it. I've never done art in a group before, or shared in this way; it's a creative blessing."

Eleanor (diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor in early October l996, she had an operation that removed one half of the tumor, followed by radiation and chemotherapy):

"I've been drawing since childhood, not professionally, except I did illustrate our Sea Harvesting Manual, so art was a part of my life before cancer. But during my six weeks of radiation, I went to a cancer support group every week and at these meetings, an art therapist offered the space and materials to us to express what was going on with us and what we wanted out of life. Each time, I came up with a spiral decorated with paint, chalk and glitter---my spirit and desire to get rid of the tumor---and it worked! My tumor is gone!

Doing art with this group at the Mendocino Art Center is a wonderful, joyful, healing gift. It gives me time once a week to release and express with joy my desire to heal completely. I've been collecting things: labels, photos, things from nature, etc. for a long time, and I've started making collages out of these. I see so much beauty in the forest and the ocean, and I look at things in our culture. I love combining these things in collages that express my love of nature and my involvement with life. It was originally my idea to ask the Art Center to sponsor a show having to do with cancer; but without my two other 'healing sisters,' it wouldn't have been possible. They've helped to open doors."

Kristin (diagnosed with breast cancer in February l998, she has recently completed chemotherapy and radiation treatments):

"When I first received my diagnosis, I felt really crazy, so disturbed and confused. I couldn't even begin to think of continuing my painting. I felt so overwhelmed, like my whole identity had changed, and now I was solely a 'cancer patient.' At one of my lowest points I received an e-mail, out of the blue, from someone who had seen my paintings fifteen years before and was trying to track me down because she loved my work so much. Well, that e-mail made me cry and reminded me that I was still an artist. It gave me hope that my work could still move others.

Unable to get back to painting on my own, I started working with a Creative Arts Therapist. She had some amazing ways of encouraging me to express my feelings through art. Once, following a chemotherapy treatment, I felt so ill I really couldn't make art; so she had me listen to music and create in my mind. Between my work with the therapist and my time spent with this group, I'm slowly returning to my art. I don't yet know how the 'cancer experience' will manifest itself in my work, but I'm excited about finding out. This weekly art group is so helpful---it's wonderful to spend time with others for whom art and healing are both top priorities. I don't think I can really ever separate the two again."

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We at A&E thank Beverley Barefoot, Eleanor Lewallen and Kristin Otwell for bravely sharing their experiences about the recovery of both their health and their art, and for creating the Mendocino Art Center's April exhibit, Dancing with the Lotus: Moving Through Cancer. We invite our readers to come see their work, along with the work of others who have moved through cancer. --Ed.